the magic carpet

reflections. links. stories. music. the great unknown.

August 27, 2004

From Michael Moore:

August 26, 2004

It Takes Real Courage to Desert Your Post and Then Attack a Wounded Vet

Dear Mr. Bush,

I know you and I have had our differences in the past, and I realize I am the one who started this whole mess about "who did what" during Vietnam when I brought up that "deserter" nonsense back in January. But I have to hand it to you on what you have uncovered about John Kerry and his record in Vietnam. Kerry has tried to pass himself off as a war hero, but thanks to you and your friends, we now know the truth.

First of all, thank you for pointing out to all of us that Mr. Kerry was never struck by a BULLET. It was only SHRAPNEL that entered his body! I did not know that! Hell, what's the big deal about a bunch of large, sharp, metal shards ripping open your flesh? That happens to all of us! In my opinion, if you want a purple heart, you'd better be hit with a bullet -- with your name on it!

Secondly, thank you for sending Bob Dole out there and letting us know that Mr. Kerry, though wounded three times, actually "never spilled blood." When you are in the debates with Kerry, turn to him and say, "Dammit, Mr. Kerry, next time you want a purple heart, you better spill some American red blood! And I don't mean a few specks like those on O.J.'s socks -- we want to see a good pint or two of blood for each medal. In fact, I would have preferred that you had bled profusely, a big geyser of blood spewing out of your neck or something!" Then throw this one at him: "Senator Kerry, over 58,000 brave Americans gave their lives in Vietnam -- but YOU didn't. You only got WOUNDED! What do you have to say for yourself???" Lay that one on him and he won't know what to do.

And thanks, also, Mr. Bush, for exposing the fact that Mr. Kerry might have actually WOUNDED HIMSELF in order to get those shiny medals. Of course he did! How could the Viet Cong have hit him -- he was on a SWIFT boat! He was going too fast to be hit by enemy fire. He tried to blow himself up three different times just so he could go home and run for president someday. It's all so easy to see, now, what he was up to.

What would we do without you, Mr. Bush? Criticize you as we might, when it comes to pointing out other men's military records, there is no one who can touch your prowess. In 2000, you let out the rumor that your opponent John McCain might be "nuts" from the 5 years he spent in a POW camp. Then, in the 2002 elections, your team compared triple-amputee Sen. Max Cleland to Osama bin Laden, and that cost him the election. And now you are having the same impact on war hero John Kerry. Since you (oops, I mean "The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth!") started running those ads, Kerry's polls numbers have dropped (with veterans, he has lost 18 points in the last few weeks).

Some people have said "Who are you, Mr. Bush, to attack these brave men considering you yourself have never seen combat -- in fact, you actively sought to avoid it." What your critics fail to understand is that even though your dad got you into a unit that would never be sent to Vietnam -- and even though you didn't show up for Guard duty for at least a year -- at least you were still IN FAVOR of the Vietnam War! Cowards like Clinton felt it was more important to be consistent (he opposed the war, thus he refused to go) than to be patriotic and two-faced.

The reason that I think you know so much about other men's war wounds is because, during your time you in the Texas Air National Guard, you suffered so many of them yourself. Consider the paper cut you received on September 22, 1972, while stationed in Alabama, working on a Senate campaign for your dad's friend (when you were supposed to be on the Guard base). A campaign brochure appeared from nowhere, ambushing your right index finger, and blood trickled out onto your brand new argyle sweater.

Then there was the incident with the Crazy Glue when your fraternity brothers visited you one weekend at the base and glued your lips together while you were "passed out." Though initially considered "friendly fire," it was later ruled that you suffered severe post traumatic stress disorder from the assault and required certain medicinal attention -- which, it seems, was provided by those same fraternity brethren.

But nothing matched your heroism when, on July 2, 1969, you sustained a massive head injury when enemy combatants from another Guard unit dropped a keg of Coors on your head during a reconnaissance mission at a nearby all-girls college. Fortunately, the cool, smooth fluids that poured out of the keg were exactly what was needed to revive you.

That you never got a purple heart for any of these incidents is a shame. I can fully appreciate your anger at Senator Kerry for the three he received. I mean, Kerry was a man of privilege, he could have gotten out just like you. Instead, he thinks he's going to gain points with the American people bragging about how he was getting shot at every day in the Mekong Delta. Ha! Is that the best he can do? Hell, I hear gunfire every night outside my apartment window! If he thinks he is going to impress anyone with the fact that he volunteered to go when he could have spent the Vietnam years on the family yacht, he should think again. That only shows how stupid he was! True-blue Americans want a president who knows how to pull strings and work the system and get away with doing as little work as possible!

So, to make it up to you, I have written some new ads you can use on TV. People will soon tire of the swift boat veterans and you are going to need some fresh, punchier material. Feel free to use any of these:

ANNOUNCER: "When the bullets were flying all around him in Vietnam, what did John Kerry do? He said he leaned over the boat and 'pulled a man out of the river.' But, as we all know, men don't live in the river -- fish do. John Kerry knows how to tell a big fish tale. What he won't tell you is that when the enemy was shooting at him, he ducked. Do you want a president who will duck? Vote Bush."

ANNOUNCER: "Mr. Kerry's biggest supporter, Sen. Max Cleland, claims to have lost two legs and an arm in Vietnam. But he still has one arm! How did that happen? One word: Cowardice. When duty called, he was unwilling to give his last limb. Is that the type of selfishness you want hanging out in the White House? We think not. Vote for the man who would be willing to give America his right frontal lobe. Vote Bush."

Hope these help, Mr. Bush. And remember, when the American death toll in Iraq hits 1,000 during the Republican convention, be sure to question whether those who died really did indeed "die" -- or were they just trying to get their face on CNN's nightly tribute to fallen heroes? The sixteen who've died so far this week were probably working hand in hand with the Kerry campaign to ruin your good time in New York. Stay consistent, sir, and always, ALWAYS question the veracity of anyone who risks their life for this country. It's the least they deserve.

Yours,

Michael Moore
mmflint@aol.com
www.michaelmoore.com


PS. George, I know you said you don't read the newspaper, but USA Today has given me credentials to the Republican convention to write a guest column each day next week (Tues.-Fri.). If you don't want to read it, you and I will be in the same building so maybe I could come by and read it to you? Lemme know...


August 26, 2004

You Gotta Be Good, You Gotta Be Strong, You Gotta be 2000 Places at Once

Well, the Republican National Convention is nearly upon us. Here's a choice tidbit that made me really, really upset:

Though Johnny Cash was definitely NOT aligned with the GOP, (he was actually a populist hero, but facts, schmacts-- right, Karl?), nonetheless on Tuesday the GOP and the American Gas Association, (Jesus H. Christ), will flagrantly attempt to exploit his legacy by hosting an exclusive "celebration" of Cash for the Republican delegation from Tennessee at Sotheby's. ActNow is calling for a musical protest of sorts.

August 25, 2004

EW

The Dave Matthews Band really are shitty!

Thanks to the anonymous tipster for the link!

August 24, 2004

Polyphonic Spree




Everything you need to know about them you can find in the Sunday Times. They're playing Irving Plaza tonight (!!!); I'm listening to them right now in anticipation. You can stream their cover of David Bowie's "Five Years" herePosted by Hello

August 23, 2004

Amusing, sad, poignant and worth checking out: JohnKerryIsADouchebagButImVotingForHimAnyway.com
Semantics, Shemantics

In typical Bush fashion, Bush today condemned ads from all 527's, while refusing to specifically condemn the ads by the group "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth". When pressed about whether that ad should be condemned, Bush said: "All of them. That means that ad, every other ad. Absolutely." Slick. Prompts a good headline (that he did in fact specifically condemn it) while he did no such thing.

August 20, 2004

There's no such thing as a free lunch

Well, despite how Joey may feel about the Delancey, this looks pretty good to me. Unless, of course, I brave Satanacide and Slunt there the previous evening, in which case I'll probably be (a) too annoyed or (b) too hungover.

From Man in Gray:

This Sunday, at the Delancey (which is a fairly new venue, I think, on the LES), there will be a free BBQ on the roof starting at 5:30pm (and that includes both veggie and non-veggie food,
yay!), then at 7pm doors open downstairs for the rock show, we go on second (around 8:30pm). Here are the full details, laid out all nice and pretty for you...

Sunday, August 22nd
@ The Delancey (http://www.newyorkmetro.com/pages/details/10059.htm)
168 Delancey St (at Clinton)
NYC, NY
FREE BBQ on the roof from 5:30pm to 7:30pm
doors downstairs 7pm
$7, 21+
Grey Does Matter (7:30)
Man In Gray (8:30)
Bamboo Kids (9:30)
Kid Casanova (10:30)

You'll notice that there's a definite theme to the bands playing this show... some have called it the Gray Kids picnic. Makes sense. Either way, it's going to be a blast, and technically I guess it's our last NYC show of the summer, so don't miss it.


PS-- Man in Gray are totally awesome live. Like Pretty Girls Make Graves less the Kelly Osbornish factor.

August 19, 2004

HA

Nakedpope.com. A brand new site to help you at work. Help you screw off, that is. Of special importance is the genius panic button. If only that could be downloaded as part of the Google toolbar.

August 18, 2004

Well, this is a fantastic idea.

from bluenyc.org:

"The Republican National Convention arrives in New York in less than two weeks.

Have you thought about speaking out against Bush?

We suggest a plan for a citywide protest that allows all New Yorkers to participate without leaving their home:

Put blue in your window.

Simple as it may be, the image of an entire city blanketed in blue,
building to building, window to window, will be the most powerful and poignant protest imaginable. Along with flooding the streets with placards and bumper stickers, an image of New York draped in one single color will demonstrate to the world a clear message: we, as one city, want a change for our country.

If you are a New Yorker who is upset with the Bush Administration,
visit:

www.bluenyc.org

.... and pass this on to your friends, family and coworkers."
Time to Move

New York is So Cool. Link via Stereogum.

August 16, 2004

Windsor for the Derby

Question: Who or what sounds like a Sea and Cake and Mates of State Split 7" if John Cage were producing???

Answer: Windsor for the Derby. They've been around since the mid-90's. They're from Austin. Nice, lush, complex and perfect. Their latest release, We Fight Til Death comes out today, courtesy of Secretly Canadian. Have a listen to the mp3 for the wonderful song Melody of a Fallen Tree.


Two thoughts

The New York Times ran an article today about what happened when a record giant (Warner Brothers) tried to schill its wares to the mp3 blogerati.

1. Fluxblog is famous.

2. The Secret Machines are a pretty okay band. It's too band Warner Brothers didn't do this with something so bad its intarnishable (see, e.g. Ashlee Simpson).
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness

The Howl Festival kicks off Tomorrow. A festival celebrating the creative spirit of the East Village, as informed by Allen Ginsburg's epic poem, Howl affords the unique opportunity to revel in the beauty of iconoclastic creativity. Howl jettisoned last year to fill the void left by the departure of Wigstock, which was sad indeed. Happily, this year's lineup looks hella cool.

August 13, 2004

The Black Table gets knee deep in the rideshare section of Craigslist. And you thought the personals were fucked up.
Luke, I am Your Babydaddy

So word has it that Gawker is losing/promoting its wonderful editor Choire Sicha. I am obvs. bereft about this, (though not as batshit devastated as Charles). But life will go on, and perhaps only now may Choire copilot the Deathstar whilst resuming his excesses at Soho House under his proper and unpronouncable name.

August 11, 2004

The Constantines vs. The Libertines

Provenance:

The Constantines
Guelph, Ontario, Cananda
The Libertines
London, UK

Sid or Nancy?

The Constantines
Nancy
The Libertines
Sid

Label:

The Constantines
Sub Pop via Suicide Squeeze
via Three Gut Records
The Libertines
Rough Trade

Bragging Points:

The Constantines
Juno nomination
The Libertines
NME’s Best Band in Britian

Google Hits:

The Constantines
16,500
The Libertines
121,000


Famous Friends:

The Constantines
Jim Guthrie
The Libertines
Mick Jones and Bernard Butler


Sounds Like:
The Libertines
Yes or No
The Constantines
Yes
The Libertines
No

August 05, 2004

Indie Rock is Dead Long Live Glam Rock




The opening night of DRAG CITIZEN's Continental NYC Residency is...

Thursday August 5th

That's TONIGHT!
DRAG CITIZEN hits the stage promptly at 10 PM
21+
NO COVER! FREE!

The legendary Continental is at St Mark's Place and 3rd Ave. They DO NOT sell T-shirts at Urban Outfitters, btw.

directions!

website! Posted by Hello

August 04, 2004

Indie Rock is Dead Long Live Power Pop

Today, I ran across a little tidbit on Coolfer: a link to a Wall Street Journal article that tells the yupsters what the hipsters have known for a while... that so-called indie rock is a cash cow and a cash hippo when geared at the youngsters. Well, that's it. It's over. Fork it, it's done.

Now, instead of being depressed and obstinant and holier-than-thou, I think this is a moment that should be embraced. Give the kids the Killers! So long, Scissor Sisters! Farewell, Franz Ferdinand! Sayonara, Strokes! Basta, Beulah! (okay, that last one is only because their very last show is tonight, followed by a sweet afterparty). I'm gonna be immensely enjoying my new collection of power-pop extravagance. School of Fish. The Blackberries. Journey. T-o-t-o. O true apothecary!

August 03, 2004

Bright Channel

Bright Channel: a band you'll hear about soon. They're from Denver, and they've already opened for Longwave and stellastarr*. Spin and its perks can't be far off. Check out the mp3 of their great song "Night Eyes" from their site.